National Recovery Month
Taking a moment to celebrate the slow, steady crawl toward something better.
National Recovery Month celebrates hope, aliveness, and the slow, steady crawl toward something better.
When I got sober in October 2009, social media was still new, Quit Lit, a genre of storytelling that focuses on alcohol dependence, didn’t exist, and seeing recovery in mainstream media was just … not a thing. While my own journey has been perfectly timed, I occasionally question what those early years might have looked like if I had access to some of the content available today.
Writing what I wish existed when I was newly sober has given me a way to make sense of my own journey. Putting pen to paper has helped me excavate some deep truth about myself and sharing that truth has helped others. So, I am grateful to media outlets that have allowed me to write vulnerably and honestly about my own recovery.
In 2019, to mark a decade of sobriety, I wrote a personal essay for the Huffington Post about my journey into recovery and shared that:
“My rock bottom came one month after a car accident that totaled my Volkswagen convertible and landed me in jail. I woke up in enough emotional pain to try something different. I made a decision that would chart a new course for my life – I checked myself into rehab. It was there that I was introduced to a 12-step program that taught me how to approach my alcoholism as a long-term, treatable disease that affects my body and lifestyle choices.”
Later, I described the magic of female friendships in sobriety in an essay published in Holly Whittaker’s The Tempest. I wrote how my friends and I, “lean in, we listen, we relate, we share our own experiences. We never judge and we don’t criticize. This is what it’s like today with the female friends that I’ve met in sobriety: A constant source of deep vulnerability, endless support, and shared experiences.”
Cashmere Magazine asked me to chronicle my experience with dating in sobriety and I recounted a few pitfalls, but I shared how, ultimately, “dating without numbing myself introduced me to genuine connection, true intimacy, and real love.” For so long, I attached my sense of worth to the approval of a potential partner. It was only when I learned to be ok with myself that my life really changed.”
The more work I continue to do on myself in recovery, the more I learn. Addressing my addiction naturally led me to address my unresolved trauma, anxiety, and codependency. Fairly early in my sobriety, I began to unpack my longtime struggle with disordered eating.
Self-compassion has been one of the many by-products of recovery, and I described that in a personal essay published in Cosmopolitan:
“Somewhere along the way I bought into a false narrative about the relationship between skinny and successful, diet and health, deprivation and control. The unlearning process has taken me years and recovery can feel impossible in a culture that puts so much emphasis on a woman’s appearance … Everyday, I am learning to trust my body, to make friends with it. I thank it for the way it carries me from one country to the next, for its ability to propel me through half marathons, and how it allows me to show up for the people in my life who love me.”
Here is the truth: Everyone is recovering from something, and everyone has the potential for human transformation. I am not unique. I was just in enough pain to try something different.
While recovery isn’t the only thing I write about, it is the lens through which I view life. I believe that proactively talking about mental health and substance use disorders will, hopefully, remove some of the stigma around alcoholism and addiction.
If you or someone you love is struggling, I hope this can be a place for you to find comfort. Here are additional resources, just in case you may need them:
Step by Step Guides to Finding Treatment for Drug Use Disorders
American Society of Addiction Medicine - Patient Resources
Addiction Treatment Needs Assessment
American Addiction Centers
Find Treatment.gov
Opioid Treatment Program Directory
Take Action and Prevent Addiction
Alcoholics Anonymous
xx, Lexi
Hello sober sister! "I am not unique. I was just in enough pain to try something different." So so true!!